12.08.2010

This post doesn't belong here

but I need to have a little rant.  So here is a birth choice post.

I believe that homebirth is safe, normal and something any woman should be allowed to chose.  For low risk pregnancies it has statistics for mortality and morbidity that are much better than an average hospital birth.

But...

I belong to some online communities that are very pro homebirth.  And so many of them are so out of fear.  Fear of doctors, fear of hospitals, fear of powerlessness, fear of lack of choice, fear of not being listened to, fear of "the machine that goes ping".  Some of them have had shitty birth experiences in the past, some of them have heard and read horror stories, some of them have medical phobias.  They shout and rant and make themselves heard and make others fearful...

Fear leads to crappy decision making.  Fear is a bad reason to do (or avoid) anything.  Fear is contagious.  And fear weakens you.  To have a good birth, you need to be strong, and relaxed enough to let your body go and do its thing. 

I had two hospital births.  Because I wanted a place where I would feel comfortable, supported, safe and strong.  I feel that way in hospitals (sign of a misspent youth, being the child of a nurse, insanity, whatever).  A lot of people don't.  Most people feel that way in their homes.  I have only had one home in America where I felt that way.  My hospital experience was excellent (even though birth number 1 was kind of crappy).  After birth number 2 it was amazingly wonderful.  I was left alone to bond with my baby.  My bigger kid could come and go.  I could order whatever food I wanted any hour of the day or night.  It was brilliant.  I am actually glad I had to stay a little longer than normal, because I got a little extra time just me and baby girl.  I would recommend my hospital and midwife to anyone who wants a natural birth in a hospital setting.  I know safe, intervention free hospital birth is possible - and I think it too is choice that every woman should have.

I HATE that people use fear, of scary OBs and intervention happy health care professionals, nurses who bully you, whatever, or of the lack of the machine that goes ping, OMG your baby will die if you don't have a c-section and epidural four weeks before your baby is due.

Arrrrgh.  Leave people alone to make their own choices.  People should be informed and educated.  They should be (in my opinion) attended by a professional with perinatal experience.  That is it.

Sorry for a non-scientific rant but I hear both sides way too much and needed my own space to get my (as always) very strong opinion out.

3 comments:

  1. I really relate to where you are coming from. My first birth was rough, but I learned a lot from it. If I talk about my birth experience with certain people, I get responses like, "And after all that, you are still not ready to get a midwife/do a homebirth/request an epidural immediately next time?"

    No. I have learned a lot from the first time, and want to give it another shot, knowing what I know now. How is that bad?

    Some very legitimate choices, like home birth, or home schooling, or ANYTHING in that camp, are made into lousy choices when fear is the primary motivator. Your life direction is born from what you are running away from, and that is never a good thing.

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  2. "Your life direction is born from what you are running away from, and that is never a good thing."

    exactly what I was trying to say. Thank you,

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